The Not-So-Fun Side of Dating

Don't let the title of this post be completely deceiving.  Dating can be fun.  Sometimes it is an absolute blast.  But, in my case, when you're a single mom, sometimes it feels like more work than anything.  Even though I had a good time last weekend with V, there were some things that came up.  Things that made me realize just how different we are.  Things that made me see we do not have long-term potential, or even short-term potential, for that matter.

While my marriage didn't work out, I still believe in it.  I still believe that it can be a good, honest, beautiful thing when it is with the right person.  I also know that I want more children (or at least one more child) if everything falls into place and I meet someone while that is still possible.  Unfortunately though, V does not believe in either of these things.  Meaning, marriage or children.  We got into a rather uncomfortable and challenging debate on the subject, as a matter of fact.  While I like a friendly debate as much as the next person, the topic of marriage and children is something that hits close to home for me.  It wasn't as if we were bantering about politics or the weather or sports teams, we were talking about things that are my heart and soul and are part of my core belief system. 

The conversation rubbed me the wrong way, for certain, but more than anything, it opened my eyes to the completely different wavelengths that V and I are on.  Someone who doesn't ever want to get married and isn't sure if he ever wants children?  Please, I beg you, go no further, you are obviously NOT the right person for me. 

Now comes the "not fun" part of dating.  The break-up, or the brush off, however way you want to look at it.  While I've had plenty of experience with this, it seems like it never gets easier to say something you know is going to hurt someone else.  V was also going to be my date to my friend's wedding, so I must also make it clear that door is closed as well.  I have a feeling the conversation will be slightly awkard, at best, and downright uncomfortable at worst, but that doesn't change the fact that it needs to happen.  I always say things like this are best done as quickly as possible.  There's no point in getting into a long, drawn out conversation when the end result will be the same. 

Wish me luck, and if anyone has any words of wisdom for how to cushion the blow with this, or even similar experiences, please share.  I'd love to know that I'm not alone when it comes to experiencing this very unpleasant side of dating. 

High Steppin'

It's my newest trick! I do it mostly when I get excited. I'm turning into quite the character. I love to hide and have people find me. It's tons of fun! I hid the other night with my Uncle Ad and mommy was really scared when she got home!

Mommy needs to take some more pictures of me because I am getting so big! She's being a real slacker!

I'm saying so many new words. I love to say "tight" everything is tight. Like when mommy buckles me into my carseat I say "tight" and pull on the straps. I also can just about repeat anything anyone says (so people have begun to watch what they say around me!). I can also count, if someone helps me. They start out with "one, two" and I say "three!"

My Uncle Ad is still my favorite person in the world. Followed closely behind by my great grandpa-who I call "Papa". Uncle Ad is so cool because he plays and plays with me. He tosses me in the air and he chases me and pretends like he is a bull. He also carries me around on his shoulders which is VERY fun.

I have been going to feed the cows with my grandpa (who I call "Boss") lately. That is also very fun! I like to ride the four-wheeler and say "nee nee nee" when I see it. I have my own little four-wheeler at home that I ride but the big one is lots more fun!

Milestones!

I have started to do a lot more things these days, mainly in the way of talking. I have begun putting two words together. When I'm in the car and I'm bored I will babble "shoe off" over and over again. Usually this is at the very same time that I am actually taking my shoe off. I also say "Adam Bull". Adam is my uncle. He likes to pretend that he's a bull and chase me around on all fours. It's a pretty fun game! I have always liked saying his name but now instead of just calling him "Aaadum" I call him "Adam Bull".

I can pretty much repeat anything that anyone says. Which means that everyone around me needs to mind their P's and Q's! I do love to chatter and hear the sound of my own voice, so that's something that I have been doing a lot lately.

Sometimes it's difficult to decipher what I am saying but mommy does a pretty good job.
She has learned that "areee" = "raisin", "boooosss" = my grandpa, "poppa" = great-grandpa, "chee chee" = GG, my name for my great grandma, "car" = "star" and "teee" = toothbrush, which is what I say when I want to brush my teeth.

I've also decided that I don't like bath time as much as I used to, in fact, I don't like it much at all. Until about two weeks ago I would happily spend hours playing in the tub with my toys. It was something fun for awhile, and now I kind of hate it. And I also hate showering with mommy. So bath time or shower time generally consists of me screaming bloody murder until it's all over with. And when mommy takes me out I turn off the tears instantly.

Christmas!!!

Christmas was SO much fun! I got a Cozy Coupe car! It is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented. I hung out in it all day long, and even wanted to eat in it. I liked it best when my Uncle Ad or mommy (or anyone, for that matter) pushed me around in it. I even took Frosty for a spin (he was kind of crowding my space though so pretty soon he had to get out). All in all it was a great day for me and I was very spoiled.

I've still been saying more words every day! I like to say "boo berry" for blueberry. They are one of my favorite things to eat for breakfast. I also enjoy eating olives, especially when mommy puts them on my finger. They are like a fun toy that you can eat! She has to be careful though because I like them so much that I choke on them because I put too many in my mouth! Silly guy, I am! I have been able to say "B" for my best friend, Bryton. We call him "B" for short. I also have been very polite and am starting to say "peas" for "please". I also have been telling mommy when I go #2 in my diaper by saying "poop".

My cousin "B" got me a very nice black cowboy hat for Christmas. I like black hats the best of all. I like to wear them and then make everyone else put them on too. My favorite thing is to ride my rocking horse and wear my hat. I feel like a true cowboy then! My Grumpa and Uncle Ad have been taking me down to the barn with them when they feed the animals. I even got to ride a horsey the other day! So much fun!

Sooo Smart!

I have been just talking up a storm lately! I have so many new words to say! I have been saying "eat" when I am hungry. I am also saying "B" when I see my cousin Billy on TV. He's been competing in a BIG rodeo and he is a steer wrestler. It is fun to watch him and I pretend that I am wrestling a steer too! My Grammy and "Grumpa" just got back from watching him in Las Vegas. I missed them SO much. It was the best thing ever when they came to pick me up when they got home!

I also have been "talking" on the phone a lot. I say "hwo" for "hello". I like to hold mommy's phone and pretend like I am talking to my Uncle Ad. It's pretty fun. I miss him because he is crab fishing in San Francisco. But I still like to pretend like we can talk on the phone.

I also said my babysitter Leana's name the other day. Well, I call her "Nana". She was very proud of me. I am ONE smart cookie!

Turkey Day!

This was my first REAL Thanksgiving. Sure, I was around last year, but I really didn't partake in all of the festivities because I was on a strict diet of milk, milk, and more milk. This year I got to do what I do best: eat! I loved the turkey and the sweet potato casserole that mommy made. Sweet potatoes are yummy! I was also VERY tired that day. I had woken up early because I was staying the night in an unfamiliar place (my Tee Tee's house aka Auntie's house). So I crashed right around the time everyone sat down to eat (around 6:45pm) and didn't wake up until 6:15am. I was tuckered out! I don't normally sleep an entire 12 hours straight!

I also have been doing some new things. I love to say "baby" now. I like to go around the house pointing out all of the "baby" pictures. I also discovered that I love to ride the rocking horse at my Tee Tee's house. For still being a pretty little guy, I sure can ride that horse, hard! I also love to play with my Uncle Adam and I am sad because he is working out of town right now. At least I got to see him for the holiday. I also got to see my cousin Billy. Everyone calls him "B". I was in awe of "B" and kept saying his name. I also was happy that he let me wear his cowboy hat!

Time Change

Boy, that time change that happens twice a year really throws me off! I had been sleeping so well-from about 8pm to 6:30am. Once that time change happened I was up early! Like 5:00 or 5:30am. And WIDE awake! I didn't want to go back to sleep and got really upset with mommy when she tried to lay me back down. Even when she gave me my favorite bottle full of milk I wasn't satisfied! I was ready to be up. I was a cranky mess after about 45 minutes, but I still wanted to be awake!

Fortunately for everyone, I'm now just about back on track. Mommy is happy and I am happier too.

I've been missing my Uncle Adam lately. I love him so much, and he's gone right now, crabbing in San Francisco. I still like to think that he's around though because every time I see a picture of someone with a cowboy hat I say "Aaaum". I really hope he comes back soon!

I have been saying more and more words every day. I say "Bom Bom", which is what I call my great grandpa. I stay with him and my great-grandmother "GG" every Wednesday and we have so much fun together!

I also have been staying with my Auntie Melanie sometimes, if my regular sitter, Leana is gone. She isn't REALLY my auntie, but I just call her that. She's so much fun and we play together all day long until mommy comes home!

Well, that's about all for now! Sorry no pictures this time!